I keep thinking – incorrectly – that this year can’t get any weirder.
But 2024 keeps delivering.
This business with the Princess of Wales really took a turn this week, with the household’s apparently doctored official Mother’s Day photo sparking a media frenzy.
So I’m going to hold my nose and dive into this for a bit.
My first thought was to wonder why it’s such a big deal. People doctor or edit their photos all the time. It would be especially naive to think the royals don’t doctor their official pictures as a matter of course, since everything is about maintaining immaculate appearances and perception.
But, of course, the misstep in this instance was that ‘Photo Gate’ came on the heel of months of online speculation and conspiracy theorising about the whereabouts or well-being of Kate Middleton.
So, naturally, all this did was to throw fuel on the fire: especially once AP and other agencies decided to reject the photo on the grounds of its inauthenticity.
Which in itself is curious, as AP and other agencies have published or circulated dubious or questionable pictures before, particularly in war zones and geopolitical scenarios like Libya, Syria or Ukraine (remember the maternity hospital fiasco?).
Having glanced briefly at some of the online amateur ‘sleuthing’ that’s been going on, as well as looking at some of the mainstream media coverage, I couldn’t quite decide if I thought something genuinely nefarious or conspiratorial is going on… or if this is all something more innocuous and mundane.
It’s hard to tell. But the royals have done themselves no favours at all in terms of quashing the spiralling rumours and suspicions.
Kate is dead, people are declaring – and it’s being covered up. Or she’s in a coma. She’s had cosmetic surgery that’s gone wrong. Or she and William are totally on the rocks. William is having an affair with something called the ‘Marchioness of Cholmondeley’ – who sounds like a Game of Thrones villain.
And on and on the guessing games go; every day snowballing and picking up new items.
The alleged affair with the Marchioness – a woman named Sarah Rose Hanbury – is a rumour that goes back a few years, in fact.
But no Netflix drama could possibly compete with the avid, speculative fictions and narrative-spinning going on in online forums and comments sections.
As with the so-called ‘Taylor Swift Psy-Op’ (see here), it’s tempting to dismiss this whole thing and leave over-excited ‘theorists’ to their sometimes slightly unhinged speculating. I haven’t seen clones be mentioned yet: but, as with Taylor Swift, I imagine someone will suggest the Princess of Wales has been replaced with a clone.
That being said, the fact is that there are genuinely some curious things here.
Not with the doctored photo itself necessarily, which seems like a pretty minor thing (despite all the media excitement): but with the preceding narrative since December.
Two and a half months is a long time for such a public figure to go unseen in public. Someone who is usually photographed multiple times a week.
And a royal couple that typically embraces the media and the photographers.
And maybe it is strange that Kate’s ‘abdominal surgery’ was never elaborated on since it was announced months ago. The nature of her illness was never specified – and so people started speculating.
I’m not sure what’s wrong with Kensington Palace keeping details of her illness private, if that’s her preference. Some argue that King Charles‘s illness, on the other hand, *was* specified as being a form of cancer. But maybe his choice was to be open about his health issues and hers simply wasn’t.
She has the right for her medical issues to be private, doesn’t she?
But I will acknowledge it’s a little odd that the Princess of Wales and the King were announced to be ill and in need of hospitalisation on the same day, even though their respective maladies are presumably completely unrelated.
(Though some enthusiasts online think they weren’t unrelated – even suggesting that whatever procedure Middleton underwent was in service of King Charles’s health issues).
At the very least, it was entirely obvious that this ambiguity about the Princess of Wales’s situation would create curiosity and speculation – William and Kate have previously embraced their public roles and the media’s part in it.
They’ve embraced the game and the publicity, for better or for worse. So going quiet all of a sudden and being vague was always going to create issues.
The few public statements between December and now – and now this business of the edited photo – was obviously their attempt to manage those issues.
Unfortunately for them, it backfired.
But the House of Windsor has a long history of PR gaffes and media mismanagement: from the Queen’s refusal to comment publicly on Diana’s death to the entire existence of Prince Andrew.
So… nothing new there, really.
But maybe William should’ve followed his grandmother’s example of Say Nothing: Neither Confirm nor Deny Anything. Instead of putting out doctored photos and possibly manufactured pap shots.
To this day, the royal family has never said a word concerning any of the issues surrounding Diana’s fatal accident in Paris. That was the policy – ignore the questions and speculations. Be aloof.
But… *is* something being covered up?
It kind of seems like it. It could simply be the fact that Kate’s health issues are more serious than they’re ready to publicly discuss – or that she’s being protected from intrusive behaviour while she’s in a vulnerable condition.
But it is odd that, if it was simply a case of her wanting some time for recovery or away from prying eyes, that they wouldn’t simply say that explicitly in a public statement issued to the media.
If the primary reason was health related, one imagines the media would broadly respect that – yes, even the bottom-feeders in the British tabloid media. They love William and Kate, after all – this isn’t Harry or Meghan we’re talking about.
And, as Prince Harry has previously explained himself, William has a very well maintained relationship with the British media establishment. The Prince and Princess of Wales have exercised a very effective level of brand management and favourable PR.
So why not just play it straight and simple?
I think we can pretty safely say that she isn’t, as some think, dead.
For one thing, covering up such a thing would be an insane strategy – because, at some point, her absence would have to be explained. And, unless a falsified timeline was put out, this would be a PR catastrophe.
And why state that she is going to resume public activities at Easter time, if she literally can’t?
For another thing, Kate was photographed by TMZ, March 4th.
Some are arguing that this isn’t really her in the picture above, but a fake or double.
Personally, I think that’s Michael Jackson in the picture – his newest incarnation ever since faking his death in 2009. Elvis might be driving.
Or maybe not. Whatever.
In fact, another photo was published on March 11th – showing Kate in a car with William. This was clearly released in response to the rampant speculation caused by Photo Gate – because unlike with the previous TMZ photo, the family didn’t complain about it being published.
But enthusiasts now complain that this picture doesn’t show Middleton’s face convincingly – she is in fact facing away from the camera.
Moreover it is argued to be a replication of an older photo, just with some minor adjustments. The photographer insists the image isn’t fake or edited.
But… that’s not the real Kate either, say the watchful speculators.
Wow, they really can’t win at this point, can they?
I realise I keep slipping into a sarcastic tone here: which is probably because I still can’t decide whether there’s a real story here or not.
I can’t say for sure whether either of these pap photos is really her or not: the March 11th one seems like it probably isn’t.
Which, given that it was put out right after the doctored mother’s day photo, makes matters even more curious. Couldn’t the photographer gotten a few more shots? Maybe a better angle?
But I will grant that, as much as I’ve argued that the edited mother’s day photo isn’t a big deal; if that isn’t – as some have claimed – even her really posing in the photo but a superimposed image of Middleton from a magazine cover from a years ago… well, then yeah, that’s an odd move.
And it feels like we’re going around in circles here.
Let’s move on. If she was, as some insist, in a coma, why would Kensington Palace cover it up?
Wouldn’t it actually create more public empathy for William – and therefore be of benefit to the Firm?
Then again, some weird shit happens in the royal family. There has been a longstanding suspicion, for example, that King George V (Queen Elizabeth’s grandfather) might’ve been illegally euthanised by his physician and that it was covered up.
The coma theory seems to have originated with Spanish journalist Concha Calleja, who claimed to have a source inside Kensington Palace. Some note that the Prince and Princess of Wales have a Spanish nanny, and that this might’ve been her source.
Calleja’s reliability has been questioned, and Kensington Palace took the step of publicly refuting her allegation.
As an aside, a Spanish lady who lived next-door to my grandparents was a maid to Princess Diana for some years. There might be a tradition of the Wales’s employing Spanish staff.
We should probably note that Calleja has previously published a book on Princess Diana, which appears to be focused on the mysteries around her death.
Whether that implies that she is predisposed (in a biased way) towards suspecting the royals of foul play and cover-ups, or that she simply has precedent for mistrust, is difficult to know.
I glanced at the Amazon page for her book and it has zero reviews, which I thought was a bit odd.
Still, for an institution that (probably) killed off one of its previous Princesses of Wales, it’s easy to understand why some people come to extreme conclusions.
It’s kind of a marvel that the House of Windsor has managed to ride out so many scandals and cover-ups in its relatively short history as Britain’s royal family: from one of its kings (Queen Elizabeth’s Uncle) actively seeking alliance with Nazi Germany’s leadership to the serious allegations against Lord Mountbatten, the royals’ relationship with Jimmy Saville, Prince Andrew‘s dealings with Epstein and Maxwell, etc.
And, again, the fate of Diana Spencer.
Any hint of a cover-up then or implications of strange goings-on naturally engenders suspicion of something bigger than meets the eye.
Even if the truth is *probably* something much simpler.
I will say that one thing that does make me more inclined to wonder if something serious is going on here is the death (at the start of March) of royal family member Thomas Kingston.
Kingston’s funeral was attended in recent days by Prince William, though not the King or the Queen-Consort. King Charles’s reason for not attending is obviously health-related. But Camilla’s reason is simply that she had some ‘other engagement’ at Buckingham Palace.
It’s the manner of Kingston’s death that looks suspicious – a self-inflicted gunshot to the head while he was visiting his parents’ property.
Relatives have said that Kingston, who dated Kate Middleton‘s sister at one point, was not showing any signs of depression.
There are ‘rumours’ circulating that Kingston was having an affair with the same Lady Sarah Rose Hanbury that William is rumoured to have had an affair with. And also alternative rumours that he had an affair with Kate Middleton herself.
And yes, this is all starting to sound like a tedious reality tv show about the higher classes.
I’ve seen nothing to back up these various claims about affairs – so I assume they’re not true. Though the William/Hanbury alleged affair might have some legitimate basis, at least in as much as it has been rumoured fr several years now.
Others point to alleged bruises visible on Prince William’s neck on the day Kingston’s death was announced – supposedly indicative of a physical struggle.
But even if this has any merit, it would be insane to think that the Prince of Wales would be himself physically involved in any such incident.
They have people for that sort of thing, you know.
But this just illustrates how out of control the rumour mill has gotten.
Kingston’s death might bear no relationship whatsoever to whatever’s going on with Kensington Palace. But it’s the timing of it that raises some suspicion.
Not quite as suspicious as the Boeing whistleblower dying of a similarly claimed self inflicted gunshot to the head (yeah, right) this week: but still suspicious.
I don’t know where that leaves us. There’s a thousand rumours and speculations. Some genuinely odd behaviour by the principal parties. Some genuine anomalies that invite suspicion.
And a ‘mystery’ that remains as-yet unresolved.
Concerning a royal family that has some history of scandals, conspiracies and cover-ups.
Whatever the truth of the matter, the Princess of Wales is said to be returning to public life some time around Easter (symbolically, the Christian celebration of the Resurrection?).
Maybe things will be clearer then.
Maybe the clone will be fully matured and active by then. Sorry, no more sarcasm.
Or maybe some of this will never be entirely cleared up.
Again, whatever has actually happened here, the Royal Family has a great talent for ploughing on and sweeping things under the carpet. And the establishment media likewise has a great talent for helping them to do so.
I bet Harry is glad he took his drama queen wife and got the fuck out when he did.
You know, just an afterthought: but what would be really funny is if this whole thing was a manufactured distraction from the start: designed to take attention away from something else.
That might be the real conspiracy.
Funnily enough, it might actually explain why AP and the other agencies made such a big deal of rejecting the mother’s day photo, when it’s almost certain that previous official royal photos have also been doctored and yet not caused any problems or objections.
It might also explain why Kensington Palace has done such a poor job of quelling speculation – and has in fact actively made things worse with edited photos, staged or doctored paparazzi shots, etc.
What we reflexively attribute to either incompetence or panic might actually be deliberate stoking of the flames – maybe calculated to draw attention away from something else.
Or even just to keep the royal family soap-opera going – like an invigorating plotline thrown in to keep viewers engaged and speculating, and keep ratings high.
In that scenario, Kate will emerge perfectly fine at around Easter time and she and William will seem perfectly happy. And everyone’s fun diversion will be finished.
I don’t know. I’m probably being too cynical there. It’s hard not to be.
WTF>>>>>>>>The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, is facing a difficult personal challenge as her mother, Carole Middleton, has been involved in a tragic car crash that has left her in critical condition. The news of the accident has sent shockwaves through the royal family and the wider public, as concerns mount for Carole’s health and well-being.
The car crash, which occurred on a secluded country road in Berkshire, has left Carole Middleton with severe injuries and in a critical state. Emergency services were quick to respond to the scene of the accident, with Carole being rushed to a nearby hospital for urgent medical treatment. The details of the crash remain unclear, but reports suggest that Carole’s car was involved in a collision with another vehicle, resulting in the serious injuries sustained.
The Middleton family has been rocked by the news of the accident, with Kate Middleton reportedly by her mother’s side at the hospital as she undergoes treatment for her injuries. The Duchess of Cambridge, known for her close bond with her family, is said to be devastated by the sudden turn of events and is providing support and comfort to her mother during this challenging time.
Carole Middleton, a beloved figure in the Middleton family and known for her warmth and grace, has long been a pillar of strength for her children and grandchildren. Her close relationship with Kate Middleton and her involvement in the upbringing of the young royals has endeared her to royal fans around the world, who are now rallying around the Middleton family in their time of need.
The news of Carole Middleton’s critical condition has sparked an outpouring of support and well-wishes from well-wishers and supporters, with messages of hope and prayers for her swift recovery flooding social media channels. The tragedy has highlighted the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing our loved ones, particularly in times of adversity and uncertainty.
As Carole Middleton fights for her life in the hospital, the Middleton family is coming together to support one another and navigate the challenges of this difficult situation. The close-knit family is known for their resilience and unity, qualities that will undoubtedly serve them well as they face this latest crisis.
Honestly, I thought it was an interesting “conspiracy theory” when I first heard about it. And I have always been interested and intrigued by various historical conspiracies like JFK and 9/11 since I was a kid. But, this news item that Kate hasn’t been seen in public and she offers a doctored photo for Mothering Sunday, which must mean that there’s something sinister afoot made me question the sanity of the press who were jumping on the bandwagon of this foolishness. Then again all this spinning allegations of “conspiracy” does help the tabloids sell more newspapers doesn’t it? So perhaps that’s the real reason the news media were focusing on it. Otherwise personally I was thinking she’s just had surgery for whatever reason and she needs to rest. Whether it takes 1 month or 6 months that’s between her and her doctor. A relative of mine had a hysterectomy and wasn’t well for over 2 months. So I can understand if some delicate surgeries require time to heal. So I was thinking to myself that this’ll blow over once we see her in public again and lo and behold today we get a glimpse of her with William in public looking health and happy at a market. Thankfully this diversion is now over (hopefully)!
Well, it definitely should be over now that she has actually publicly explained her illness. I almost feel bad fr even having covered the subject at all.
But thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Oh Mr Burning Blogger, with the Russian elections and the American elections around the corner, 2024 hasn’t begun its weird world tour. The best is yet to come!
This right there. That’s what you miss. If for nothing else but for the fact that all conspiracy theories aside, that doctored image is a receipt to the UK taxpayers. She has royal official photographers, staff, media team (presumably) – all paid for by the British taxpayer.
Even if the original photos are created by professionals and then given to her, she then shits over the professionals (again, paid for by us) to insert her doctored AI-app bullshit and then shovels it out to the public thinking (like a true bloodline royal) that nobody would ever notice. Fucking golf claps to her and all who co-signed.
It’s all handed to them on a plate. Cradle to grave unearned privilege and luxury, and they still find a way to spit in the wind and have it land on our faces.
Fucking laziness. 15 royal photos presented to her that were probably already whittled down from the 64 that were taken. All she had to do was pick one. How difficult is that?
Let the tabloids have their red meat on this non-issue.
Yeah, and the 15 presented to her were already likely put through Photoshop, Lightroom, and whatever else commercial apps that actual professional photographers do, never mind royally appointed ones.
All this other stuff, is she alive, is she dead, health concerns. Couldn’t give a flying fuck as a matter of public news/knowledge.
They’re all incompetent, out-of-touch, the OG benefit scroungers. Fuck ‘em.
Best of luck to Harry and Megan for leaving the reservation of sorts.
Great post, as always. Long live tBB!!!
Ah, your great affection for the monarchy is clearly showing, my friend.